Why you can't get to self love through self judgement

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You can’t get to self love through self judgement.

At some point, women decided that to love themselves, first, they need to fix themselves.

I call bullshit!
That’s not true!

You can’t judge yourself, berate yourself, or hate yourself enough to come out the other side in love with yourself!

I know because I’ve tried. Have you ever tried it, too?

I spent years digging up all the limitations, beliefs, pain, and old stuff so that I could finally heal. And the shitty part is, that I kept finding more and more! It was a bottomless pit of crap that kept me stuck in the pattern of self judgment and nowhere near self love.

I’m not saying to stop all self development, healing or personal growth work altogether. There is a time and place for it and it’s incredibly useful and empowering. But not when it’s used in an addictive way to try and fix yourself because you believe you’re broken.

How do you know if you’re using personal development to actually slow yourself down? When you seek the lessons at all costs and you dig and dig through your shit hoping to release all of it and have that magical moment of transformation when everything feels ok and your life magically transforms.

I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. How about you? And, did it work? Did it change everything?

I’m willing to bet that no, it didn’t. In fact, it probably made you feel worse, more broken, and feeling like nothing will ever work for you. That’s how it made me feel. Certainly, it brought some progress, but definitely not the magic solution that fixed it all.

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The truth is, none of us are broken. We simply forget that we are whole and worthy because of our experiences in life. And we’re not meant to be perfect, we’re meant to be whole and the only way to get to wholeness is to remember it. You don’t have to earn it because you already have it and are it.

And I’ve found that the fastest way to remember your wholeness is to love yourself more, and judge yourself less. And the fastest path to self love is:

1. To allow yourself to screw up,

2. To look for all the ways in which you’re already fabulous, amazing, enough, worthy, beautiful, smart, etc

3. To build yourself up, not tear yourself down.

4. To use personal growth as a tool, not as a crutch.

How do you make the switch from judgment to self love?

1. You choose to.
2. You practice it every moment that you remember.
3. And you let yourself off the hook when you forget.

And if you need help breaking the pattern of self judgment, then grab my Unlock You workshop where we use the power of hindsight to unravel self judgment and get closer to self love.

Kasia Rachfall is an integrative transformation coach for spiritual entrepreneurs ready to be famous for the work they do in the word.

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Why you can’t get to self love through self judgement

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